Best Laid Plans

The golden egg was passed. I made the announcement. Pregnant. Due date: April 11th. A prior C-section means a scheduled C-section a week ahead of time. Actual date: somewhere around the first of April. I hope my mom has her spring break then.

Chris and I were weeks away from having an approved home study when I found out I was pregnant. Our profile was done, waiting for the signature of the supervisor of our case worker. We were going to adopt and our list of restrictions was small. I thought we would be matched and have a baby before MOPS started this year.

We don't have successful pregnancies. In fact we have only a 25% success rate. So I waited in fear for seventeen weeks to officially become inactive in the adoption process. Today, I wrote the email. I attached the letter. And with the fear I thought I had overcome, I sent the message. My heart convinced that upon clicking the "send" button the baby growing in my womb would be no more. I want to run to the doctor, hear the heartbeat, be reassured, but with no symptoms other than fear and that darn send button, I will not give in.

And tiny nudges from a body yet unseen growing strong and drawing close call me to the assurance of faith. That a God who sends me in a different direction will prove Himself faithful, gracious, and kind.

Cooking

Pumpkin Dip
PREP TIME
15 Min
READY IN
15 Min
Original recipe yield 4 cups

1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
2 cups confectioners' sugar
1 (15 ounce) can solid pack pumpkin
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
1 teaspoon frozen orange juice concentrate

DIRECTIONS
In a medium bowl, blend cream cheese and confectioners' sugar until smooth. Gradually mix in the pumpkin. Stir in the cinnamon, pumpkin pie spice, and orange juice until smooth and well blended. Chill until serving. Serve with cinnamon graham crackers, gingersnaps, pretzels

Slow Cooker Pot Roast

INGREDIENTS
2 (10.75 ounce) cans condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 (1 ounce) package dry onion soup mix
1 1/4 cups water
5 1/2 pounds pot roast
rough chop potatoes and vegetables of choice


DIRECTIONS
In a slow cooker, mix cream of mushroom soup, dry onion soup mix and water. Place pot roast in slow cooker and coat with soup mixture. Add potatoes and vegetables.
Cook on High setting for 3 to 4 hours, or on Low setting for 8 to 9 hours.

Commentary

Do you ever feel like

you're a sports player
daily life is the playing field
and
the child is the play by play announcer?

Me:

I'm a Steeler
Target is my home field
and
Abigail is Myron Cope.
(For those not fortunate enough to grow up in Steeler territory, here's a taste of Myron Cope.)

My Commentary

Heard from the dressing room in head full of mucus volume--I see you naked, Mommy.

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Riley can you put on your shoes please?
Why?!
Because we have to go pick your brothers up from school now.
WHy?!
Because it is time for them to leave school now.
WHY?!
School is over now.
WHY?!
The teachers want to go home for the day and your brothers want to play with you.
why?
because your fun.
why?
because you are a fun kid!!!
oh!
(mental sigh......finally!, that one didn't last long this time!)
Ok, climb into your seat for mommy.
why?
(a;lrkjWPOEHGBNIWUERBGIOWURBGIUWSNBGUOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Oh, the why stage!! I love it, but pray for twice as much patience as usual through it as well!! haha. Last night, I put my five year on "WHY duty" for thirty minutes just to give me a little break. I thought it was best to break in when Wil started to explain his theory of how the judicial system worked! But, I found myself in such a desperate state mentally! It just exhausts you after a while. And I am not a fan of just using the fix all "because I said so" phrase. I do use this when needed, but I, personally, feel that it is important to quench that thirst for knowledge at this age.....it just can be somewhat draining on mom at times!! Too bad they can't learn to read at this stage as well...that would be perfect!

Gratitude

There is a blog I read, Holy Experience. It is beautiful and uplifting. One of the projects that Ann, the author, has started is a gratitude community. The idea is to find the many thousands of things to be grateful for in ordinary days. It is wonderful to read and it puts things into perspective on those EBay days I have (because sometimes on those days I want to put my entire life on EBay).

What do you think? Would you like to start our own little Uniontown MOPS gratitude community? Maybe we could pick a few days of the month and try to fill our days with thanksgiving while doing the dishes.

Today is the 3rd, so I'm thinkin' I'll list three things I'm grateful for and you can join in the comments.

little girls still in pink pajamas cutting paper into confetti sized pieces
excitement over princess panties even when they get wet, wet, wet
new houses

EBay Days

That is what I call them. Those days when my child seems to know where my buttons are and takes great joy in jumping on said button all day long.

Would I ever do it? Not on your life!

She is mine--button jumping and all--and I would fight to the death to keep her. But it is also nice to have some kind of expression for the days when nothing seems to go right in mothering. Saying it out loud gives voice to my very real feelings of being at the end, and something in those words works its way to God's ears and somehow, someway diffuses the situation with some humor and always an encouraged heart.

What about you? What is your expression? And how does it work?