The golden egg was passed. I made the announcement. Pregnant. Due date: April 11th. A prior C-section means a scheduled C-section a week ahead of time. Actual date: somewhere around the first of April. I hope my mom has her spring break then.
Chris and I were weeks away from having an approved home study when I found out I was pregnant. Our profile was done, waiting for the signature of the supervisor of our case worker. We were going to adopt and our list of restrictions was small. I thought we would be matched and have a baby before MOPS started this year.
We don't have successful pregnancies. In fact we have only a 25% success rate. So I waited in fear for seventeen weeks to officially become inactive in the adoption process. Today, I wrote the email. I attached the letter. And with the fear I thought I had overcome, I sent the message. My heart convinced that upon clicking the "send" button the baby growing in my womb would be no more. I want to run to the doctor, hear the heartbeat, be reassured, but with no symptoms other than fear and that darn send button, I will not give in.
And tiny nudges from a body yet unseen growing strong and drawing close call me to the assurance of faith. That a God who sends me in a different direction will prove Himself faithful, gracious, and kind.
You know that we are all excited for you and Chris during this special time. With all that excitement, we are praying very hard! We love you!!!
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