God is in control!

Note to self: God is in control!
I have a confession to make - I really, really like my life to run smoothly! I enjoy it most when events of each day are well planned, organized, and everyone is happy. At some point along the way, I had to admit that these desires involved some control issues and that I needed help with my problem! I now refer to myself as a "recovering controlaholic", because I still struggle with these issues on a regular basis but I depend on my very big God to keep me in check.

Looking back on my life I really can't blame anyone for making me this way. It's true that I grew up in a large family with parents whose amazing management skills and work ethics combined could probably conquer a small country! They were quite balanced, however, and still let us have plenty of spontaneous fun. Perhaps it can be traced to that sinful nature I was born with that really likes my own way the best!

I made it all the way to parenthood before my calm little world was shaken and I realized that I couldn't keep things as smooth and ordered as I would like. Our first daughter was the model baby, sleeping through the night at six weeks, and causing me to pat myself on the back for being such a calm mother. Then our darling second daughter arrived and even though I followed all of the same great techniques, she did not sleep through the night for a very, very long time! When number three child, our first son, arrived, any sense of control and order I still clung to flew away and I went into survival mode! Because of my relationship with Jesus, I did a lot of admitting that I needed help and learning to relax. Even though I could no longer have a "quiet time", getting alone with God, I kept opening my Bible to look for insights on how to stay sane.

One verse that really hit me hard that God still whispers to me when I'm stuck on my seemingly superior plan, is from Proverbs 3:7, "Do not be wise in your own eyes..." The verses that come right before this much needed reminder help me to relax and not get hung up on my great plans. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." (Having straight paths means I won't be wandering in the darkness or getting stuck in bad detours!) This is one of those treasures in the Bible that tells us so clearly what to do and offers a wonderful promise for those who do it! Why do I make things so difficult for myself when all I need to do is give God control (the little that I perceive I have!) and let Him show me the best way?!

Over the years my Heavenly Father has allowed me many lessons in this area; He is so gracious that way! The experiences of going overseas as missionaries and adjusting to a new culture rivaled some of my parenting challenges. Everything I had known in my home culture was ripped away and I had to adjust to a strange, new way. I struggled deeply during our adjustment time and it was only through letting God's Word light my path that I was able to embrace my new surroundings and love the people to whom I had come to minister. During these years God mercifully changed me so that when the hardest test came along, having our precious daughter, Lisa, taken from us by illness, I was able to keep holding on to Him and believing His plan is best.

Each morning I still have to have a little chat with God and with my heart! "God please help me to remember today that You are in control. Nothing is too difficult for You! On my own, I can do nothing that will amount to anything! I need You so much!" Then I look for some new promise in His Word just to cement my resolve to leave it all in His Hands. Those promises are like my daily food and the air I breathe - they keep me persevering even when my life isn't going how I would have planned it!

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this." Psalm 37:4,5

"How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear You, which You bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in You."
Psalm 31:19

"A righteous 'woman' may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers her from them all. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:17,18

~Joy Herman