Kindhearted

"A kindhearted woman gains respect..." Proverbs 11:16a

This nugget of wisdom leaped off the page as I was reading my Bible one day during my years with little ones tugging at me. Like Sarah, who posted last week about "being something and someone", I had my moments of wondering if my skills and gifts were being fully used. When asked "Why, Mommy?" fifty times a day, one's mental abilities get a work out, but it can be downright draining. During this time, my husband was teaching at a Bible college and seminary, imparting wonderful knowledge to his very receptive students. Several of our women colleagues were also professors, many with their doctorates. At our mission gatherings I felt like Susie homemaker, the one who brought the muffins and didn't have much to add to the conversation.

As I read that being kind was a key to being respected, I felt tremendous relief. It was okay that I wasn't furthering my formal education (though being a mom has indeed given me lots of "smarts"!), it was okay that I was at home the majority of the time (though that certainly didn't mean I wasn't a working woman!), and it was okay that the people (even if they were very small people!) I was influencing were my own children! I knew that I could cultivate kindness in my life. There was absolutely no one that could take that away from me and I was determined to make that a high priority in my daily life.

I have been blessed with much inspiration in the area of kindness from my earliest days. My mom is one of the kindest people I know. She is a very smart and gifted woman but I benefited most from her kindness through each day. When I was eight and a half, Mom had a baby and it was the first time she had complications. The emergency c-section left her very weak and her body rejected the stitches. It was one of the most difficult times of my mom's life, though I was quite oblivious at that age! Mom wasn't able to come upstairs to tuck us in for at least six weeks. When she did, she found that my sisters and I didn't do well in the keeping your room clean department without some accountability. She looked at our room, sat down on the bed and cried! No screaming or yelling - just sadness over our mess! At that moment, my motivation for keeping my room clean spiked and I don't think she ever had to cry at the state of our bedroom again! Mom also spoke many encouraging, life giving words into my life even during the teen years when I became boy crazy and obnoxious. I put her to the test so many times but there was always kindness in her heart and on her tongue for me and all of my siblings.

Another woman who touched my life at a time when I needed lots of help was Linda, a friend from Ohio. Linda has a Ph.D. in some science - I can never remember which because she is more concerned about helping others than talking about her knowledge. When our daughter, Lisa, was ill and then in the weeks after Lisa's homegoing, Linda would take our boys out with her boys for visits to museums, to the swimming pool or playground. Paul and Peter were just ten and seven years at the time and I was tired in my grief and in trying to still be a good mom to my kids. The great thing wasn't just that Linda was giving me some time to rest, but that she was such a kindhearted person I knew my boys were also gaining from their time with her.

It's interesting that the very next verse in Proverbs 11 says, "A kind man benefits himself...". The NLT translates this: "Your own soul is nourished when you are kind..." I want to be kind because of how it benefits all around me, but what a great thing to know I am also nourishing my own soul. This is a thought to ponder, especially when I face a choice of being mean and vindictive OR kind. When that choice is difficult, I remind myself that kindness is one of the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22,23) which means I can ask God to give me a fresh supply whenever I need it. I love that God is always willingly giving us what we need!

I still fall short of my own expectations in so many areas...that pile of clutter I just can't get through, the good intentions that never come to fruition, the times I try to be organized but drop the ball...through it all I continue to strive for those character qualities my kids will remember they saw in me. I hope kindness will be at the top of the list!

"And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:6,7


~Joy Herman