Loving the man in my life -

When our darling grandson was born last October, I was completely smitten.  I confessed in a light hearted way to my husband of 30 years that for the first time in our marriage, I had fallen in love with someone else.  He laughed and said, "That's not true!  This has happened six other times in the past!"  He was referring to our six children and how with the birth of each of them, my maternal love was so strong that I was just a bit neglectful of our romance for awhile.

The first time I heard the parenting principle "The best gift you can give your children is to love your spouse", I remember pondering it for a long time.  That's a pretty strong statement, but it does makes a lot of sense.  What better gift can we give our kids than the sense of security a happy marriage brings to a home?  What more effective way is there to teach our kids love and forgiveness than to model it for them as parents?  What legacy can we give our kids that would be more meaningful than two parents who are completely devoted to one another?

Many principles like that make great sense, but it doesn't mean they are easy to live out from day to day!  Most of the time I am completely committed to living this principle.  My husband is an amazing person and he has loved me unwaveringly through the good and bad times.  There are, however, moments when I let tensions build up and the romantic feelings dip a little and it requires work to keep loving.  I am fully aware that it requires work on his part to keep loving me sometimes because I have days of the month when I don't even like myself!

At times when loving doesn't come as easily, the life giving words of Scripture infuse me with new strength and resolve.  One of my favorites is this passage from Colossians 3:12-14 -

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

I've said it before, but I just have to say again that the great thing about God telling us to do things, is that He is right next to us giving us all the resources we need to do them!   Jack and I have followed these powerful words as a couple through some very tough times and it totally works!  Sometimes we look at each other and our hearts are so full - God has brought us such a long way together and we really do love each other more deeply than we ever thought possible.

If you are still single and waiting for that man of your dreams, don't get caught up in looking for him.  Use all of your energy to become the person God wants you to be.  Pray for that man you are waiting for - that God will make him the person he should be.  Then be patient until God brings that person into your life.   My favorite verse I pray for my single friends is Psalm 84:11b, "...no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless."  The word "blameless" here doesn't mean someone who is perfect; it refers to someone who is following Jesus, confessing her sin and not compromising in areas that would not please God.

If you have tied the knot and are faltering at times when the romance seems lacking (I don't think I have ever had to put as much effort into this as when we had babies and toddlers!), remind yourself what a gift you are giving your children when you persevere in loving that man of yours.  The benefits of sticking with each other may not always seem spectacular from day to day, but over the years you will see great rewards.  The wise One who created marriage smiles on us as we fulfill our vows and He gives us the love we need so we can give our kids the great gift of a mom and dad who are truly in love!

Struggling With Attention

The Friday night I kept saying I was going to read my Bible, but I never did. Last night, I did read my Bible before bed and then fell asleep before I said my bed time prayers. Why? Well, the first night, I was "too busy" and the second night, I was "too tired". These are legitimate statements... I really had a lot to do! And I really had had a busy day yesterday, and I was tired!

Do you ever have that happen?

Wandering from Christ is not abnormal for Christians. So many times I’ve had (as they say) “Mountaintop experiences” that leave me feeling so close to the Lord that when I converse with him I can almost audibly hear his voice. And yet, I wander away time and time again.

It occurred to me 2 weeks ago how this must be common for even the most Christ-seeking Christian. We were singing the awesome hymn “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” and and as I read the words, I realized that people have struggled with this forever. A stanza says this:

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

It’s human nature to be prone to wander. Old Dead Guys who wrote hymns from long ago did it… and I see it in my daily life. Why? When growing closer to the Lord is such an amazing feeling? When reading the Bible is such great stuff- such enriching guidelines for life, why stray from its focus? I don’t know, but I suppose that since Eve and Adam had their “I’m going to gain knowledge and wisdom” wandering at the beginning, we’ve been tugged like a rope back and forth. My will, thy will. My will, thy will.

I love Psalm 119. It really helps me to remember to remember His word and his promises. The whole Psalm is long- but it starts off in an amazing encouragement as to this struggle!

Psalm 1-8

Blessed are those whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the LORD. Blessed are those who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart— they do no wrong but follow his ways. You have laid down precepts that are to be fully obeyed. Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees! Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands. I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws. I will obey your decrees; do not utterly forsake me.

Something and Someone

I am doing a Beth Moore Bible Study. It is the fourth one I have done. She is an incredible Bible teacher. This one is a study of Esther. It is challenging and provoking and has me examining my life--my purpose, my destiny.

I am also reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan with my Sunday school class. It is challenging and provoking and has me examining my life--the way I spend my time and our resources and how I obey all those red letters in the New Testament.

For a while there, I was starting to feel like my life was a tiny little bit of a thing and that I was completely missing the boat by staying home with my youngsters.

You see, according to my high school science teachers, I should be something, a doctor, or an engineer, or a scientist. And according to my college professors, I should be something, a leader among the teacher, a writer, a researcher. I've been demolishing the expectations of people for years (choosing instead of doctor, a teacher's life, and instead of teacher of the year, home with youngsters). But those expectations live on in my head, the dreams someone else had for me, and the definition of success written, no, inscribed in my head and heart by our world continue to speak to me.

I begin to believe a little too much in the words and expectations of others. I begin to question this path of submission to Creator and to husband that I am on, this rockiest of roads called motherhood and the anonymity of stay-at-home mom.

Then He speaks quietly in rocking a boy to sleep. I breathe in the smell of his head and I wonder at this little fellow given to me for such a short time. I am reminded that in caring, serving, loving this one, I am caring for the poor (for a babe born even into the wealthiest of families is utterly poor and completely dependent). When I stoop to tie shoes for a little girl still learning, I am meeting the needs of the lowly. When I forgive, bearing the consequences of another's wrongdoing, I am giving mercy.

I find that I am something--the only mother these two will ever have, a picture of the humility of Christ in a world of ego and pride (if I'm doing it well which I often do not).

And He speaks quietly in story. John and Charles Wesley had a faithful, prayerful mother. John Newton had a faithful and prayerful mother. John and Charles were great men of faith who are credited with founding Methodism and writing countless hymns. John Newton was a sailor for the slave trade, who later repented, became ordained in the Church of England, worked for the abolition of English slavery and wrote a number of hymns including Amazing Grace. I am reminded that faithful, loving, prayerful mothers can make for great spiritual leaders. That though the life of a mother of two in Uniontown may not seem like a big life filled with destiny, it is a purposeful, useful life filled with destiny.

Through the struggle and the sitting quietly at His feet, I am told that I am not merely something. He tells me I am someone. And it is in being someone that my destiny will be fulfilled.

I am still walking through Esther and Crazy Love and I am sure that some of what I am feeling is very much conviction, and I think it is appropriate to struggle with the red letters and the problem of poverty and want and need. But I am encouraged to think that this life isn't as little as those memories sometimes make me feel. And isn't is always a fun thing when you realize that your feelings aren't the truth.

Turn Off the Radio

I'm not good with things dueling for my attention. I think it explains why our efforts to have our children closer together were thwarted. One needy thing at a time. God knew.

I'm also a slow learner, preferring to blame something or someone else for my shortcomings. For a long time the car was torture. The ten minute drive to Target felt like a week.

I was used to getting into my car and turning on the radio and driving to my destination. Then Abigail started talking. Then she started having conversations. Then she started asking questions. And expecting answers. (How dare she, right?) The days of tuning out toddler babble were over. And I would spend the time with dueling noises--the radio and the girl.

This went on for a while, an embarrassingly long while. All I wanted was for Abigail to be quiet in the car.

Then I read a little homeschooling book about a method of educating children designed by Charlotte Mason. She observed in her original writings that when a child was thinking she was talking. There wasn't another way for a child to think. (Of course she also observed that adults can think and talk independently often talking without thinking.) It changed my perspective. Perhaps the girl should win the duel. When she wants to converse in the car, the radio is turned off. If she is making random noise, I reserve the right to turn the radio on and ask her to be quiet.

Turning the radio off in the car and in the kitchen has so relaxed me as a mother. I have allowed myself to be invited and to accept the invitation into her head and her heart. The things she thinks about are amazing, the questions she asks confounding, and the way she looks at the world intriguing.

I know some of you are like my husband and exist with background noise. My point isn't that you must mother as I do, but rather to accept that their chatter is an invitation to know them well.

Train up a child in the way he should go, 

Even when he is old he will not depart from it. 

Proverbs 22:6

(While this verse appears to say that if you teach your child about God, he will never turn away. But it has more to deal with teaching your child about his unique design and the ways he can go with that. Getting to know the unique person God has entrusted to us is imperative to giving them this training.)

God's Breath

Dear God,

You told me that I needed to celebrate the eternal. You have been whispering to me for a while that I cannot be grateful for the cardinal and for the snow and for the quiet in spite of the life happening around me. That while breathing frustration at my husband or impatience at my children the gratitude for the cardinal was praise devoid of power.My heart wasn't changing.

So I've been finding delight in the laughter and in the questions and in the life that happens around (and lately in spite of) me. Today we frittered away a morning--the library, some shopping, lunch out. We came home. I called my mother, we snacked, put away some clothes, and we went back outside. They played; I shoveled. I got impatient with the constant asking for a snowman, but. . .. They laughed and they played and they yelled at the dog. I came in without stress, without anger. . .free.

My friend remembered our date--getting together while Chris and Abigail were at Cubbies. I had forgotten. In the storm, schools and other extra-curricular activity had been canceled. Chris said to go. I said thank you.

We met at Panera. We talked about our families and our dreams, our husbands and jobs. We ate good food and drank equally good hot beverages. I talked more this time. The last she talked more. That is the way of friendship. I left satisfied by both the food and the camaraderie. I left heart-full.

That is why you want me to celebrate those with Your breath! Heart-full is Your gift. The snow and the quiet and the cardinal, they're the whipped cream and chocolate shavings (for a woman who doesn't like cherries on top.

Thank you.

Love,

Sarah

Originally published on A Lettered Legacy.

Pondering Mary

But Mary treasured up all these things (the worship of Jesus), 

pondering them in her heart 

Luke 2:19

And He went down with them, and came to Nazareth; 

and He continued in subjection to them; 

and His mother treasured all these things in her heart. 

Luke 2:51

Mary was chosen by God to contribute half of the DNA necessary for the Son of God to walk on this earth, fully God and fully man, to carry the embryo, the fetus, the baby Jesus, to give birth to the Savior of the world, to mother, parent, care for the child Christ. Wow!

Yet, the Bible says she, like, dare I say, all mothers, stored up in her heart the comments others made about her boy, treasures, words to roll over and over in her mind. Really, who among us doesn't keep, almost more than any other words, those spoken about our children. And isn't the call to motherhood universal. The woman chosen to bear the Son of God who so often is depicted with a glowing halo of holiness about her did the same things we do. Found words of goodness and treasured them, pondering them in her heart. Creating dreams for her son.

Granted, her dreams included dreams of royalty. Dreams of freedom from Roman oppression. You see, in her time, many people had forgotten the hard prophesies of the coming Messiah--the abuse, the death, the pain--and were counting on the reign of a king freeing their country from the Romans. But she dreamed for her child.

I wonder when they took Jesus to be consecrated at the temple if she really heard the words of Simeon, after claiming the Salvation that Jesus is, he turned to her,

Behold, this Child is appointed for the fall and rise of many in Israel, 

and for a sign to be opposed

--and a sword will pierce even your own soul--

to the end that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed. 

Luke 2:34-35

I doubt that there is a mother in the world who would desire for harm, for pain, for deep suffering to enter into the lives of her children. (Yes, even the really bad ones.) Yet it will come. Our dreams, those treasured words will one day have the taste of tears, the quality of ash, as our children walk this world. For if even the mother of the Savior tasted dashed dreams, surely we as mamas to ordinary, man-DNA-plus-woman-DNA creatures will too.

And so, in this season of Luke 2, I wonder if Simeon's words and the fullness of Mary's experience could have words for us.

she pondered these things

treasuring them in her heart

these children, fully human, are created for a purpose

these children in fulfilling their purpose (or in the time of running from it) will experience pain

we as their mothers will be pierced with the pain they are going through

God desires for the suffering of children and their mothers to work redemption in the lives of others.

And so in the midst of little girl dreams and little boy aspirations and the tears that accompany disappointment, I declare hope.

I think, Mary who watched the Messiah, a child she knew was conceived supernaturally, she heard and saw angels foretelling, she heard stories of stars and angels proclaiming His absolute royalty, hang on a Roman cross, be pierced by Roman spear, be declared dead by men experienced in the ugly art of execution would talk of the way God works redemption out of the piercing pain of dead dreams.

For Mary was also able to see and hug the resurrected Lord. (OK, I know there is nowhere written that she hugged Him, but, really do you think He wouldn't have allowed His mother to weep great tears of relief and joy and to hug Him really tight and really long?)

His life, His death, His resurrection give hope for all us mamas that in Him the dried tears, ashes of dreams, are part of a grand plan for redemption for us, for our babies, and for the world.

Question Tuesday!

After Joy's post yesterday, I was thinking about all of the times I have felt the Lord come along side of me and involve Himself with me at a time I really needed to know He was there. I would love to hear of a time you really felt the Lord come along side of you? Is there a specific incident where you can remember and encourage others by telling of that time?

Rejoicing in His love......

"I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.  You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place."  Psalm 31:7,8

There's just something about knowing that God sees my troubles!  Sometimes it's just the little trials - a flu bug hitting the family, a disagreement that brings irritation, disappointment with myself, fatigue, and unfinished tasks.  God is concerned and interested in my "small" problems. Nothing is too small for Him! 

Then there are the bigger trials - the ones that cause anguish.  Anguish over heartbreaking loss, tragic events, serious illness, broken relationships, devastating sin and the injustices of this cruel world.  He sees it all and understands what we go through each day.  He doesn't just look on and watch to see how we'll survive!  He comes right alongside us and helps us through each difficulty.  He steadies us so we can keep getting up every morning and caring for our families and other responsibilities. 

 I love the idea of Him leading us into a "spacious place".  We can feel so hemmed in by our circumstances, so powerless to change the trying situation at hand.  As we put it all in God's Hands, He allows us to feel that we are free and peaceful, even if the circumstances don't change. 

 During the Christmas season there are many happy moments and the anticipation of joyful events, but I still need the reassurance that God has His eye on me and is always there to help me.  I feel so incredibly blessed to know the true Gift of this season, Jesus, who loves us so much!  Christmas cards will bring us wishes of peace, love, and joy.  Amazingly, all of those are ours in Jesus.   When the moments of perplexity or doubt or weariness come, I will calmly do a reality check!  My God is aware of everything that has come my way and He is ready to help in every situation!  

written by Joy Herman

He knows and that is enough for me!

Last week my daughter, son, daughter-in-law and I took baby Liam to Cleveland to meet his great grandparents. Liam is their first great grandchild so it was a momentous occasion. Holding this precious little bundle in his arms inspired my dad to reminisce about the arrivals of his and my mom's nine children and the craziness of life during those times. We laughed together over his anecdotes and I know John and Bethany, the new parents, felt reassured that they will survive the adjustment phase they are in right now. Memories of my own early motherhood experiences came flooding back to me and I found myself wishing I had known a little more back then! How often I found myself perplexed - desperately wanting to do the right thing, but not always being able to discern what the right thing was. My parents had instilled in me a habit of asking God for help in any situation, no matter how small. Praying about night feedings, whether to use a pacifier, when to potty train, how to handle my darling whose favorite word was "mine"...all of these moments were worthy of taking a moment to ask God to give me wisdom. James 1:5 has become one of my all time favorite parenting verses and I still need it daily!

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

I love this verse! It's okay for me to be needy! God doesn't mind and He welcomes my questions. He never says, "I would have thought you could figure this one out." or "Haven't you learned this by now?" It's really as simple as coming to God with my problem and opening my heart and mind to what He may show me. I've stopped wishing that God would write the answer in the sky for me because I've found that if I really quiet my heart and listen for His answer, it always comes to me! Sometimes the answer comes through my husband or a friend; other times it comes through the Bible or a book on parenting. My own children have sometimes had the answer for me - if I'm humble enough to receive it! As time passes, I'm becoming more comfortable with not having all the answers. I'm becoming more patient in waiting on God to show me the answer. Perhaps most importantly, I'm getting to know the God who is all wise. Nothing ever takes Him by surprise or confuses Him. His wisdom is infinite so I can rest in that knowledge through all of my days. As I start a new week, who knows what is ahead for me? My wise God knows and that's enough for me!

~Joy Herman

Unconditional

Love never fails

1 Corinthians 13:8

When I Am Kind

When My Heart Is Ugly

God will never love you more than He does right now, nor will He ever love you less.

For by grace you have been saved through faith; 

and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;

not as a result of works, that no one should boast. 

Ephesians 2:8-9

When I Speak Kindly

When I Yell at Little Ones

There is nothing you can do to get God to love you more than He already does, nor is there anything you can do that will cause Him to love you less.

Look the level in the jars doesn't change! It is like His love.

I don't need to take advantage of it by staying on the right, but when I creep over there He still loves me!
Sometimes I need to be reminded.

In a conversation with some family members recently I said, “we are not necessarily done having children.”

My father-in-law was shocked. “You’re not?” After a significant pause he added, “you know the more children you have, the more chances there are that something will happen to one of them.”

Did you ever have one of those moments where you feel like someone just hit the “slow motion” button? Then you want to grab the remote from them and hit “rewind” so that you can replay what you just heart to be sure that you heard it? Yep, I had me one of those moments.

I had no idea what to say to him. All I could get out at that moment was, “God is in control of my life.”

I feel much sadness for my husband’s father. He is completely consumed by fear.

His statement isn’t exactly false. Yes, something could happen to one of my children. Have I thought about that? Sure. As easy as it could be for me to let that particular worry consume me, I don’t let it. How? I give it to Him. My trust is in Him.

Having Him certainly does not give you a “get out of a stressful life free” card. There is still worry. There is still sadness. There is still loss. There is still hurt. There is still pain. There is still sin. There is still sorrow. There is still fear. But there is forgiveness, there is peace. A peace, that truly surpasses all understanding, especially the understanding of those who do not know Him.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:7

I often remind myself that my children, technically, do not even belong to me. They are just under my care. They belong to Him, they are His. He just chose me to be their mother. I am so glad that He did.

I do not know what the future holds for me or my family. I only know that He is in control. I have to trust fully and completely in Him. Not always an easy task. So many times I fight with Him for that control and do you know what I usually get if He allows me to win a fight? Fear.

Time goes by so fast. Do we really want to spend every moment fearing what the next will bring? What a waste!

God calls us to give Him all of our fears and worry. I certainly don’t want them. Why does He? Because he loves us.

I found a couple of fun quotes about fear:

"FEAR is an acronym in the English language for "False Evidence Appearing Real”

“98% of the things we worry about, probably will never happen.”

I also wanted to share some truth about fear:

“Fear not tomorrow, God is already there.”

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” ~Psalm 23:4

“For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” ~Isaiah 41:13

“The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?” ~Psalm 27:1

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” ~John 14:27

Big Enough

So today's the first day. The first day of my husband being officially and undeniably unemployed. As in, no 9 to 5, no pay day every other Friday, no company picnic. Yep, that's unemployed with a capital "U." Unemployed when the unemployment rate is 10%, its getting harder and harder to find a job, and former CEOs are flipping hamburgers. (Okay maybe it's not that bad. The CEOs probably get to work the counter.)

But you get my point.

For some reason, God in all of His wisdom has decided that this is a good time for our family to embark on a major life transition, to move from here to there, to step out in faith. And really it's not so bad, right? I mean change is good, especially when you got the whole world in front of you, nothing holding you back, and a whole lot of dreams to live on. Carpe diem etc. etc. etc.

But the truth is I'm a mom and being a mom changes everything.

The good becomes better, the bad becomes worse, and, as in this case, the uncertain becomes terrifying. Being a mom means not only carrying my own fears and worries about the future, but protecting my three little ones from theirs. Being a mom means explaining why we have to move and why daddy "works" in the basement now.

So not surprisingly, there've been a lot of times I find myself struggling with fear and worry and disbelief. Not so much for myself, but for my kids. I mean, sure, I believe God is big enough to take care of me, but is He big enough to take care of them?

What I could really use right now is a God who understands how hard it is to care for children in the "in between" times. What I could really use right now is a God who knows that I feel lost and don't know which way to go. What I could really use right now is a God big enough to take care of a mommy and the little ones who are looking up to her.

Maybe a God something like this:

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that are with young." (Isaiah 40:11 NIV)

Yeah. A God like that. That would work nicely.

~Guest blogger…Hannah Anderson. Hannah is a wife, and a stay-at-home mom of three children. She is also a friend to many in our MOPS group!

Thankful...

Thankful... that waiting brings great rewards!

At the moment our family is eagerly awaiting the birth of a baby boy who will make my husband and me grandparents, our son and his wife parents, and our other children aunts and uncles. It's hard to think of anything else and our phones are always right near us as we await the news that labor has begun and Liam John will be making his appearance. I am very thankful that nine months of pregnancy does come to an end!! I know my daughter-in-law is very ready for this waiting time to be a memory and to be holding her baby son in her arms. Waiting is never easy, but it's incredible how often it brings good things to our lives. I've always felt that the nine months of pregnancy prepared me in so many ways for parenting my babies. There was something about the patience and perseverance it required that stretched me (yes, I even have some marks as evidence!) so I was ready for sleepless nights and all the demands a new baby brings to the life of a mom.

It's been the same in so many other areas of my life! In marriage, my husband and I have not always understood each other, but our willingness to stick with each other has produced the precious reward of a deepening closeness and rock solid relationship. In disciplining our children, we never saw instant results, but over the years we are amazed - truly amazed - that our kids have become caring, loving, well mannered, independent individuals! In my personal life, I have so often fallen short of who I long to be, but I have forgiven myself over and over, and with time, am becoming the person I had hoped to be! Most profoundly, I have found that as we waited through times of heartbreak, light and hope eventually conquered the darkness and allowed us to become stronger people.

The waiting is intensely difficult and we wonder if we will break under the pressure at times. The rewards are indescribably, exhilaratingly worthwhile. As we experience the rewards of waiting, I find that I become more comfortable and patient in the waiting process. There is always a lesson to be learned if I am willing to take time to just relax and reflect. Time, even when it seems like it is moving too slowly, becomes our friend as we accept waiting as a gift. I also become increasingly thankful for God's patience with me as He molds me into the person He created me to be.

Soon I will be cradling that darling grandson in my arms and I'll be whispering to him that he was worth the wait. As I seek to invest in his little life, one of the qualities I hope he will see in me and emulate is a patient acceptance of waiting.

~Written by Joy Herman

Fun!

" 'round the world baseball!"

I have two children.

You can play almost any outside game with three people. What outside game can you play with only two? One of the two being four years old, full of energy and pure boy. The other being 32, out of shape = no energy, and maybe 3/8 tomboy.

I asked my pure boy this past Tuesday (MOPS Day!) what game he would like to play. "Baseball mommy!"

We go get some pieces of wood to make the bases, home plate, first base, second base and third. We begin to play. I soon realize this is not going to work well. He doesn't have a teammate and I don't have help in the outfield. He is going to have to hit a homerun each time for this to work. As good as my son is, he cannot do that.

We stop and think. We come up with a plan. We invent our own version of baseball. We call it " 'round the world baseball."

Here are the rules:

Set your bases up. Just as you do in regular basebal.
The youngest goes first, of course.

Since there are only two of you, you are on opposite teams. So one team is pitching and outfield, the other is hitting and running bases trying to score.

Two strikes = 1 out.
A foul ball = 1 out.
3 outs ends an inning.
There are six innings or a score to eleven (which ever comes first) to win/end the game.

The tricky part...
If you get a hit and are able to make it to a base, say 2nd, then the pitcher pitches to you at 2nd base. You get another hit but only make it to third, the pitcher pitches again to you at third, until the runner reaches home for a score.

That is why we called it " 'round the world baseball!" You are literally spending most of the game in rotation from base to base!

If there are no outs, but the current batter's score reaches 5 then it is the other persons turn to bat.

We had alot of fun playing this.
I have to tell you ladies that I was sweating by the end of our game.

So for those of you who may find yourself with only one child at home on a warm fall, summer, spring day...consider trying Ethan and his Mommy's " 'round the world baseball," or invent a game of your own!!!

If we can do it so can you!!!!

Why Come?

Before I became a mom, I worked for the YMCA as the supervisor of an after-school program in an inner-city environment. I could mother a building full of children ranging in age from four to seventeen! I thought motherhood would be a breeze. I didn't realize one very important, even crucial factor--

those children went home after three hours.

Nor did I realize how much I relied on the staff of five that worked with me creating this program. They had ideas and the ability to clearly communicate those ideas. They listened to stories and helped with the daily ins-and-outs of being surrounded by children. On rotten days when I was less than I wanted to be, they
helped me feel normal,

because they had those sorts of days too.

Then I became a mom. I had it down.

• Till Abigail hated to eat.
• Till I tried to get her to enjoy eating, every day for the past four and 5/6th years, 1764 days (Yes, I did the math.)
• Till Simon came along and searches for ways to create a new and boy-kind of chaos.
• Till . . .

Really, I was a great mom. I had it together for all of two hours and 30 minutes (the recovery time for a C-section). While I was lying in the recovery room imagining my little girl, chatting with the nurse, waiting for my toes to react to my brain, I was with it.
I didn't stay "with it" very long. I moaned with a pillow over my head instead of getting up. A little girl we had waited and prayed for became a burden, a heavy burden I did not enjoy and wasn't bonding with. And I faked it. There were many people who prayed with us for this child, and I didn't want to disappoint them by being remotely insufficient for this task of raising children.

Then I started talking, and I've kept talking ever since. See, this motherhood thing is hard. It is hard to wake up to little voices in your head before your own voice is in your head. It is hard to remember that mommy is also woman and wife. It is hard to not swear when the toilet is so clogged that it overflows onto the bathroom floor. It is hard to make dinner everyone can enjoy and to insist that children try everything. It is hard to hear the good and the bad about everything that comes close to your child and to then make some sort of decision about it.
This motherhood thing is also lonely. It is why I keep talking when my mom needs to take her call waiting. It is why I still get a little pouty when my husband leaves for work. It is why at odd and random parts of the day I hurry to the computer to check blog updates when I know everything is updated by 10 AM.

And MOPS is a place where we can come and be and share and talk and take care of ourselves and each other and get ready for the next day. You see, we weren't meant to be moms alone. For centuries, communities were built in such a way as to encourage womanly togetherness--going to the well, front porches, quilting bees. I can hear the chatter as they went, sharing the joys and burdens of mothering children.

And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. 

A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. 

Ecclesiastes 4:12

God knows we need one another; He created us. (It gives Him the inside track). I will admit that one little one can do me in and two can make it that much more difficult. But drawing on the strength, experience, wisdom, and joy of other mothers equips me to enter into the lives of my children as a whole person. That is why I seek out other mothers. That is the meaning behind our trips to the library and play dates. It is why I come to MOPS.

Reminder:

MOPS 

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

6:00

Cherry Tree Alliance Church

Happy Moms??

Happy Moms??

There's a beautiful promise in Psalm 113:9 that I regularly pray for my friends who long to conceive and have children - "He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children." As I've reflected on that verse, I have often had the words "happy mother" grab me. I am one of those women who has been blessed several times over with amazingly wonderful children, but does the "happy" part describe me?

I would more often describe myself as a "busy mother", a "worried mother", a "weary mother", and even a "proud mother" or a "loving mother". Happy is a little more challenging! There's just so many things that can rob me of my happiness - disappointments, loss, pressure, unmet expectations of others and myself, unwelcome change, and of course, just the daily stresses of life.

I know I'm not alone in this struggle to be happy and stay happy, because every time I open a woman's magazine, I find a self help article on how to de-stress, how to manage a busy life, or how to be happy. I've read enough of the same hints about carving out time to relax, lowering expectations, and getting organized to make life more manageable, that I feel like I should be the most carefree mom ever! Many of the tips are wise, but they still fall short in allowing me to consistently be a happy mom!

Although I have certainly not arrived in this area, I have found an answer to my quest for happiness. (Having the name "Joy" has definitely added to my intensity in this quest!) I can best define it through another verse from the psalms (146:5), "Happy are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the Lord their God." Each morning, usually before my eyes are open, I give my day to God and ask Him to help me. Sometimes this is a calm, cheerful request and other days it is a desperate plea, "Please help me!!" As I ask Him for help, I choose to believe that the One who created me also knows what I need, how much I can take, and what the best plan is for me. My circumstances are not always what I might choose, but my happiness goes deeper than that. My life is safe in the most capable, loving Hands there could ever be! Depending on God, my Heavenly Father, fills me with hope, and allows me to be that "happy mother" that I so want to be.

~written by Joy Herman

Low Fuel

The past few weeks, it seems like I am running on low grade fuel. Low, low, low. You know the cheap kind that we put in our cars? Not the 93, the 87. That’s what seems to be in me, 87. I am running, I’m getting by, but not as I would like to.

I am discouraged a little with life right now. I don’t really like being this way, let alone admit it. I have gotten behind with things and have been disappointed with others. I have been dealt cards that I have never expected to ever see in my hand.

I have dust in my house older than my youngest child. (I would rather not mention that age at this time.) In fact, I have dust in my house older than my oldest child! My laundry is piled up so high that it is probably taller than my oldest child, my youngest has proven that he can hide in it and not be seen, so it’s already conquered him!

I cannot meet the standards I have set for myself as far as my mothering, or housekeeping. Nor can I as a friend, daughter, wife, aunt or sister. Of course my own personal goals for Jen, just Jen, are far out of reach. It really feels like someone hit fast forward and I can do nothing to stop it!

At the same time, I keep fooling myself with this statement. “You are fine Jen, you can handle it all.” And my favorite, “ This too shall pass!” Funny, huh?! It seems when our lives are the craziest that is when we think we are strong enough to handle it. I know better. I know that I am NOT. I also know now (trust me it’s a fight every time I have this conversation with myself – cause I do have to have if often!) that it’s perfectly okay to admit it!

My body is weary, my mind is weary and my soul is weary. A weary mommy leads to a weary, well everybody else, within a 3 mile radius!

To fix my weary body, dusty house, and to find my child in the laundry, I swallowed my pride and asked my mother-in-law to come and help me catch up this week and to also do some fall cleaning. (My fall cleaning should really just be called cleaning but it sounds so much more normal putting “fall” in front of it!)

To fix the rest of the weariness I know exactly what I need to do. I need to seek complete rest in Him. He wants me to. He practically begs it of me.

Being overwhelmed can lead to all sorts of things that we really do not need in our lives. It can lead to fear, worry, un-rest, doubt, etc.

A friend shared this verse with yesterday, "When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. " ~Psalm 61:1

I know God has His hand in every little detail of my life. He has allowed those cards to be dealt to me. Giving Him my worries, fears, doubts, and struggles are the only way that I will be able to overcome them. To be honest at times fear is the one thing that holds me from releasing it all to Him?! Fear that I won’t have a say in the outcome.

It’s silly to ever doubt in Him. He wrote the story of my life. He knows every time I cry, I get angry, I get hurt, I feel lonely, I feel like I am not a good mom, wife or friend. He knows it all and He wants it all on His shoulders, He doesn’t want it on mine. He already took care of it all, so I just need to release it, let it go and find the Joy that only He can give.

One of my all time favorite quotes is from a book called Naked Fruit by Elisa Morgan and she says…

“Joy is confidence in God’s grace, despite circumstance—despite what happens. Joy is the ability to hold up because we know we are being held up. Joy is the conviction that God is in control of every detail of our lives even when those details appear to be out of control.”

Running on low grade fuel? Fill up with Him!

Some scripture for reflection…feel free to read before and after the verses listed to fully understand the context.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”
~ James 1:2-5

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?”
~ Matthew 6:27

“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.”
~Psalm 62:1

“They fully intend to topple him from his lofty place; they take delight in lies. With their mouths they bless, but in their hearts they curse. Selah. Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.”
~Psalm 62:4-6